2. Our desire to appear desirable exceeds desire itself.

2. Our desire to appear desirable exceeds desire itself.
It is well known that media and advertising can have a devastating effect on women's self-esteem--but it affects our sexual self-esteem too. Feeling like we don't live up to the physical ideal, women often grow to view themselves, and even their genitalia, as undesirable.
Rather than having sex, many women simply want to look like they are having sex. We are too busy chasing beautiful to want to kiss beautifully. Too busy chasing the veneer of desirability, to desire. Our animal instincts have become inverted: time devoted to preening overrides time devoted to mating and sexual pleasure.